The Secret Love Language Of Couples <3
I like being single. I don't have to take care of anyone when I can barely take care of myself. But sometimes I wish I had someone who would make me feel good on the bad days when I feel blue.
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Someone who'd give me a princess treatment when I feel the worst. Someone who'd match pajamas with me on Christmas. Someone who'd give me a best friend energy, makes me laugh, never stops flirting with you, and love me a little extra on the days I need it the most.
Matching humor is probably my favorite form of connection. There are loads of things that people can have in common but there’s no doubt that similar styles of humor are an elite commonality
I heard a man say his love language was laughter. I love it when a joke bounces back and forth. I love to be able to catch it, add a twist, and pass it back a few times. I love it when it shifts and morphs into something even better.
It’s understanding. It’s an understanding that only works when both people know the rules and are on the same page. On the same playing field. Going the same speed.
Every couple has their language. It's not a language spoken with words, but with knowing and flirtatious smiles and glances. It's a language of inside jokes, shared experiences, and the quiet understanding that only comes from time spent together. These secret codes are a sense of connection that is beyond spoken communication.
Happy Relationships Have Humor
Humor is an excellent way to ease tension. For example, it’s not uncommon to playfully chastise your beloved for ‘failing to read your mind…again’. Using your most incredulous tone, I exclaim something like, “I mean, it’s been long and you still don’t know what I want without me telling you?!”
This joke comes up more often than anyone would like to admit because if you are being honest, there is a little part of you that really does wish that your partner would simply know how to please you without you having to ask. But by adding humor, you can both hear the silliness of your secret wish and laugh together. Tension gone. Sharing your little inside jokes increases our connection and ultimately your happiness. And you must admit, happiness has become a hobby of yours.
Healing Qualities of Laughter
A merry heart is like medicine
Recently, science has proven that laughing improves mood (by increasing oxytocin), betters our immune systems (by increasing antibodies), relieves pain (by releasing endorphins), helps with good blood circulation, and brings more oxygen into your lungs. And as long as humans have had language we've had humor too. Experts say that as babies we laugh around 300 times/day. As adults, we only chuckle, guffaw, snigger, giggle, chortle, and twitter about a tenth as often.
When We Laugh
When we laugh love is born..
Sharing laughter is one of the ways to bond, Can you remember bubbling over with giggles because someone you were with was laughing too? When we are howling at each others’ jokes, what we are really saying is ‘I like your company’ or ‘I like you’. Universally, humans demonstrate affection by sharing laughter. Not surprisingly, research has shown that couples with a shared sense of humor are more likely to have successful, long-term relationships. Our sometimes silly little private jokes are a kind of special intimacy that I’ve come to treasure.
Inside Joke Intimacy
Inside jokes are like the secret language of couples, the playful whispers only the two of you understand. They might be as simple as a silly phrase that always makes you laugh or a nod to that sarcastically awkward moment you both survived. These jokes come from shared experiences, turning everyday moments into laughter.
Inside jokes serve multiple purposes in a Relationship:
Bonding Over Banter
Inside jokes are just one part of your secret language, but it goes beyond words. Shared moments, whether big or small, weave unspoken threads that connect you. A knowing smile across a crowded room, a squeeze of the hand that says so much, or a playful nudge that shows unspoken affection, are all parts of your unique connection.
Shared experiences, both joyful and challenging, become the landmarks of your relationship. A song that played during your first kiss, a place you visited on a memorable trip, or even a funny mishap you both went through – these moments can evoke powerful emotions and a deep, unspoken understanding between you.
Couples develop a keenness for each other's body language and facial expressions, allowing them to communicate volumes without a single word. Shared experiences create a deep emotional connection. You understand each other's joys and sorrows on a deeper level. Successfully navigating challenges together strengthens trust and allows you to rely on each other implicitly.
Developing Your Couple's Code
Don't be afraid to be silly together. Laugh at life's absurdities and create new inside jokes along the way. Travel together, try new things, and create new shared memories that will become part of your secret language. Pay attention to your partner's nonverbal cues and emotional state. This strengthens your ability to communicate without words. Look back on old photos, reminisce about funny moments, and keep the memories alive.
When Harry Met Sally (1989)
This classic romantic comedy explores the complexities of friendship and love between two people who share a deep connection but struggle to define their feelings. Their witty banter and inside jokes become a signature element of their relationship, showcasing the power of shared communication.
The secret language of couples is more than just silly jokes and funny memories. It's a language of love, built through shared experiences, unspoken understanding, and a deep connection. It's a testament to the unique bond you've created, a language only the two of you truly understand. So, cherish your inside jokes, celebrate your shared moments, and keep nurturing this beautiful, ever-evolving language of love.
If laughter is not a habit in your relationship, maybe it’s time to get curious about what your partner finds funny. Watch some old slapstick, check out some stand-up together, browse your favorite streaming service for funny films, etc. Look for opportunities to delight your loved one. The more we look for humor, the more we see it. Lean into the joy that laughter offers you in your relationship. When things feel intense or serious, understand that making each other laugh is a good thing. You can always get back to problem-solving once you’ve had a good belly giggle.
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