Do You Remember Your Pehla Pyaar? <3

idyll, idyll dating, romance, first love, love advice
Tell us! We won't spill it. <3

Do you ever find yourself jogging through the memory lane, and by chance stumbling upon the memories of your sweet tender first love? Weren't we all a fool in love back then, while thinking back on it does your first relationship bring a smile to your face, maybe a few tears or are you the type to feel cringe when thinking back on it?

Well whatever it is, let me help you clear your mind by helping you reminisce. Though it will sure to leave a bitter-sweet taste in your mouth.

Reflecting On The Experience

idyll, idyll dating, romance, first love, love advice
:(
Pehla pehla pyar hai, pehli pehli baar hai

I don't care if you have heard this song from 'Hum apke hain kaun' or not because your bestie here will summarize it for you in just 2 words- he's simping. Yes, from the start to the end he is just simping about his first love but it does sound familiar... weren't we all like this at the start of our new fresh love although thinking back on it? Now, it was so cringeworthy that I could die.

While most of us get our first love at an early age, it usually ends with heartbreaks and leaves us devastated after it. You might not want to look at things deeply, but it's only by reflecting on those experiences we get to know- what molds us into becoming who we are today. In the end, no matter how many months or years have passed or how many relationships you've been in, it's truly hard to forget your first love.

Significance

idyll, idyll dating, romance, first love, love advice
It's pretty complicated

The first relationship shapes our sense of identity and it becomes an extension of ourselves during that time. As young and innocent lovers, we poured our hearts into the relationship, and as our love grew, our partner became an extension of ourselves instead of a separate entity.

That's why even heartbreaks or break-ups cannot diminish that unforgettable feeling. That's also the reason why we see others going back and back to the same person who once hurt them while even putting their self-respect at stake, it is simply because they still think of them as an extension of themselves and it is hard for them to leave that person.

Let me tell you something- Nature has created us as such, when we fall in love, that person becomes a necessity and we can't just fall out of love, no one can.

So even if you don't end up together, it will simply be like living without a necessity.

Lessons

idyll, idyll dating, romance, first love, love advice
Be prepared for your future relationships

As I already mentioned; first love molds our personality into who we are and sets our expectations so there are bound to be a lot of lessons.

Your heart still sinks every time you think of them, of what went wrong, of what it was like, of what it could have been.

I know what-ifs are scary for a lot of us, and we tend to overthink things like 'What if I never said that' or 'What if I stopped at that time' or similar things but this is just you overthinking things and being in your bubble, that if you had done something different at that time, the outcome would've maybe come out favorable. Though deep down we all know that doing something different at that time would not equate to the outcome being any different and it's just your dilly-dally thinking that is making us think these things.

Remember how I said you can't fall out of love? Well, that was half true although falling out of love is a common experience and everyone goes through it once in their love. It's a natural part of some relationships that can happen over time. Changes in life, circumstances, time, and personal growth can lead to a shift in feelings.

Challenges

idyll, idyll dating, romance, first love, love advice
Get over it!!

You know how first love is like a roller coaster with its ups and downs and we end up putting it on a pedestal so that later we could compare it with our future ones? It is pretty simple to understand. It's when someone says things like "Yes! I'm happy with Shruti (current lover) but I'm not as happy as when I was with Preeti (first love)". What they are doing here is glorifying their first relationship. Things like these are signs that tell us someone is still not fully moved on.


Most People Fail At Their First Love. Here's why:

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Lack of relationship experience

Without prior experience, there are bound to be many mistakes such as lacking the necessary communication skills, emotional maturity, and problem-solving abilities required to maintain a healthy relationship.

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Insecurity and jealousy

When individuals are new to love, they may feel unsure about their worthiness or fear their partner will leave them. Such emotions give birth to jealousy, clinginess, possessiveness, and a lack of trust.

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Lack of Individual Identity

First love occurs at a crucial time when individuals are figuring their own identity. In such cases, they become over-reliant on their partner and seek validity, while some also start mirroring their partner's personality.


We all can agree that first love is a magical experience but it does come with its own set of challenges. Recognizing and understanding what went wrong in the first relationship can be a key to solving your future ones.

Conclusion

I only have a single question to ask you- Do you miss your lover or do you miss the feeling of loving them? Whatever your answer is, nothing could change the fact that it's gone now, and being stuck in the same place with the same old feelings, without being able to move on properly is just sad and pathetic. So maybe it's time for you to reflect on that experience, remember all the challenges and lessons you have learned from it, and get back the control of your mental state.


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