Dating When You Have Anxiety: Tips for Staying Grounded and Constant
So, you've decided to brave up and face the battlefield of modern dating armed with nothing but your charm and a cute outfit– and oh, of course, the omnipresent sidekick, anxiety.
So, you've decided to brave up and face the battlefield of modern dating armed with nothing but your charm and a cute outfit– and oh, of course, the omnipresent sidekick, anxiety. Don't worry anxiety loves third-wheeling. Whether you're meeting someone on an app through friends, or through that weird "networking event" that felt more like speed dating in disguise, the experience can be nerve-wracking.
But fear not here are some tips to help you stay grounded while navigating the whirlwind of romance!
Table of Contents:
Accept that anxiety is your forever plus-one.
Let's face it: anxiety is like that overzealous friend who insists on tagging along to everything, even when they weren't invited. Accept it. Resistance will only make anxiety louder like a toddler denied a second scoop of ice cream. Instead of trying to shove it into a metaphorical closet before your date, acknowledge its presence. A quick mental pep talk works wonders: "Hey anxiety I see you are coming along but you are not allowed to steal the spotlight."
The pre-date panic routine
Ah, the hours leading up to a date. The sweet symphony of overthinking begins: What if they don't like me? What if I spill soup on myself? What if I accidentally confess to a crime I didn't commit? First, take a deep breath. Then take another, then stop– you're hyperventilating.
Make a plan that grounds you. For instance: Nothing screams "I've got this" like dancing around to " Eye of the Tiger" while debating which shoes scream " Dateable".
Whether it's skincare or pre-date karaoke, rituals can help soothe nerves. Just don't make the ritual of texting your date 15 times to confirm they are still coming.
Be realistic about your expectations.
Newsflash: Your date isn't a contestant on " The Bachelor", and neither are you. They are human beings who might also be sweating bullets under their shirt. Dating with anxiety means setting realistic goals for yourself. Aim for something simple, like making it through the evening without mentally rehearsing your exit strategy every five minutes.
Remember: this isn't a job interview. You are not being graded on your ability to keep the conversation flowing like a TED talk. If there's an awkward silence, just smile. Maybe they'll interpret it as mysterious. Maybe not. Who cares?
"Having realistic expectations means understanding that life is a mix of struggles and triumphs."
The art of small talk
Questions like What do you do for fun? Can send your brain spiraling into existential despair. Relax. There's no prize for the most captivating answer.
Parineeta Bhasin
People love talking about themselves. That jacket is cool, where'd you get it? Boom, you've bought yourself at least 30 seconds of conversational reprieve. Pat yourself on the back.
What to do when anxiety decides to show off mid-date
It's all going well until, BAM, anxiety decides to take center stage and be the spotlight. Your palms are sweaty, knees weak, and arms are heavy. What now?
First, excuse yourself for a quick breath. The restroom is your haven. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you're doing great– because you are.
— Brené Brown
Texting etiquette: The post-date anxiety spiral
You survived the date– congrats! Now comes the texting phase, also known as "Did I say something dumb? Part Two." Don't over-analyze every work of their text. Stop it. Take the text at face value.
Also, resist the urge to triple text. If they haven't replied, it's not because they're drafting a restraining order. People have lives, Go distract yourself until they reply. Anything.
When in doubt, call it a learning experience
Not every date will end with fireworks. Some will fizzle out. That's okay. Dating is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. Even if the date doesn't go perfectly, give yourself credit for showing up. That alone is a win.
It is challenging, sure, but it's also an opportunity to grow and learn to be vulnerable, to connect, and to embrace the messy, beautiful chaos of human relationships. "Dating with anxiety feels like a rollercoaster you didn’t sign up for", but Idyll is here to help you buckle in safely. With Idyll, your quirks aren’t just accepted; they’re celebrated. Find someone who sees your nervous laughs as charming and your over-analyzing as endearing.