They Left You , But We Won't!
Coping With Rejection
“What feels like rejection is often God's protection when you're heading in the wrong direction”
-Donna Partow
As teens step into College, another voyage of their lives. They tend to face a lot of rejections. Both before and after entering college. Whether being rejected by their dream college, dream course and finally when they get selected in a college they face a whole different genre of rejection. They face rejection from societies, rejection from associations. But, out of all these rejection the most painful one is getting rejected by your college crush.
College Dating which should be a new and pleasant experience for all becomes a stressful and traumatic experience for most.
So, in order to cope up with such college dating experiences there are plenty of ways to cope up with it:-
Steps To Deal With Rejection
Say No To Self-Rejection:-
A lot of times we as individuals only reject ourselves. We keep on finding faults in our appearance, personality, interpersonal dealing and so on. The fear of rejection and self-rejection restraints a person to take initiatives in college dating. This is the first step which every new college student should always avoid while dating in college.
Go Through Your Feelings:-
When anyone gets rejected especially in context with dating in college he/she usually tries to suppress their emotions. Or feel extremely dejected. Both of these expressions aren't that great. One should neither ignore their feelings nor should they get overpowered by them. If you're ever rejected you should go through your feelings. You should feel the pain and then there will be a day when you’ll start feeling better and will gradually get over those pessimistic emotions.
Adapt Optimism:-
While you're in the process of overcoming your toxic past experiences in college dating. You should try your best to look for positives in it. For eg:- If someone has rejected you, then you should critically analyze whether it was good or bad for you. And surprisingly, in a lot of case studies when teens are rejected. After thinking deeply about the situation they realize that it all happened for good only. They even explore that if they were committed with that person it wouldn't have been a great encounter at all!
Don't take it personally:-
I know it's easier to say than to do. It's very difficult for a person who’s just exposed to college dating to not take the rejection personally. But, trust me it's really important to do so. If you’ll take this personally the experience will cause lifetime emotional and psychological dents on your self-esteem. So, it's better to handle the situation by believing that this person was not your ‘The One’ and your ideal one is waiting for you.
Love Is Not Always Reciprocated:-
Love is quite multi-dimensional. You can't always assume that Love will be reciprocated. But, if the Love is not reciprocated it doesn't mean that your feelings don't matter. Your emotions are very precious but it's important to understand that there's a good possibility that other people might not be able to feel the same for you. So, whenever you confess your feelings you should keep this in mind and make decisions wisely.
Get rid of self-blame:-
A relationship never breaks away because of one person's mistake. It's always the result of the mistakes committed from both ends. So, there's a high possibility that your bond which you expected to turn into a relationship gets shattered because of you. For eg:- Two school best friends who are very close to each other might get separated if one of them falls in love with the other and the other rejects him/her. In such a case it's natural for the best friend who fell in love to feel guilty and crestfallen for losing the precious friendship. But, in such a case as well there's no need to keep on ruminating your mistake. All one should do is to learn lessons from them and not repeat those mistakes in future!
Take Your Time:-
A lot of times when any of our relationships are broken and we aren't able to analyze the feelings. We tend to open up about them with our friends or close ones. And they often suggest we move on from that person and forget them. To explore more in College Dating. But, emotionally as well as psychologically there's no need for you to get over the feelings, the broken heart, the person quickly. Take your time, it's absolutely alright to feel bad and rejected. But if you don't take enough time and suppress those emotions they'll surely cause a problem in future.
Move On:-
I’m pretty sure you must've heard the phrase 'The show must go on'. Indeed it's a true statement. Life doesn't stop for anyone. It keeps on going. So, you should also learn to cope up with dejection and rejections and just move on. Taking enough time is suggested but being stuck there isn't. It's important for your mental health to gradually and eventually get over the person who gave you trauma in college dating. Otherwise, you’ll keep on feeling bad for yourself. We all encounter rejections in our dating life in some way or the other but if we'll stay there only. No one will be able to move ahead and meet their destined person.
Don't force yourself into relationships:-
The research has proven that a lot of times people make this mistake when they get rejected by someone. In order to overcome that particular feeling they try to forget the person by forcing themselves into another relationship. Even if you do so it will be emotionally harmful not only for the other person but also for you. As, after sometime you’ll stop getting pleasure in that relationship of your college dating and you’ll yearn to be with the person who rejected you. Don't force yourself into a relationship just to prove to the person who has rejected you that you can find someone much better than him/her.
Question Yourself:-
If you still feel like being in a relationship by hook or by crook, just to prove to the person who rejected you that you can find someone better and beautiful. When such intrusive thoughts are overpowering you it's really very important to question Yourself. Ask that first time when you thought about Love or Relationship what came to your mind?
Why do you ever desire to be in a relationship?
What is Love for you?
And when you’ll ask such introspective questions I’m sure that you’ll realize that you didn't think about Love or college dating just to show off. You actually wanted love because you always wished to be loved, to be valued, to be genuinely desired and admired. And all these emotions have nothing to do with finding an 'Instagrammy boyfriend/ girlfriend' during college dating.
Engage In Self-Care:-
If you have just got your heart broken. So, rather than beginning on your voyage to find someone else. It’s much better to take out some time and work on yourself. Find your happiness within yourself. Don't think about society, family or friends. Don't think that they'll mock you for being rejected. Don't even think of the person who rejected you. Just focus on yourself. Do what pleases you. Cherish ‘me-time’ and find happiness within yourself. This will surely make you feel empowered and a sense of completion will be witnessed by you.
Don't Give Up:-
When anyone is rejected, especially in love life, their tendency to give up is really high. Their broken hearts and injured feelings don’t allow them to seek another shelter. They feel like love is useless. It's all about investing and getting nothing, no sense of security and no love in return. It creates a void deep inside the heart. But, it's not the end of the world. God has bigger and brighter plans for us. The only thing required is trust. Trust in God and trust in yourself. Just wait patiently and be optimistic. Because one day or the other you’ll surely end up meeting and uniting with you ‘The One’ and it could be during college dating as well. It might take time, patience, and anxiety but at last when you’ll meet your ‘The One’ it’ll all feel worth it!
It's all about the right time, the right path and the right person!
Movies, Books and Series Talking about Rejection:-
500 Days Of Summer:-
After being rejected by the girl the male protagonist loves. He revisits the 500 days he had spent with the girl Summer. This movie is an insightful take on love at first site and coping with rejection!
This is a must watch for college dating enthusiasts!
The Love Of Rejection By Subrta Bose
It's a short but crisp story dealing with rejection. It emphasizes how not all love stories have a happy ending, some are destined to have sad endings too!
Ae Dil Hai Mushkil
This all-time favorite Bollywood movie is encapsulated with emotions of rejection, friendship, and unrequited love. Aayan is the very picture of an unrequited lover who refuses to give up. But, from the songs to the dialogue of the film – everything will resonate with those who have loved without having it returned.
How I Met Your Mother
HIMYM is surely a series revolving around Love and romance. But the underlying theme of the series is also rejection. The way Ted dealt with rejections is portrayed commendably well!
Conclusion:-
At last, it can be concluded that college dating is not only about moments of mirth. It also brings rejections, disappointments, anger and emotional turbulence on its tail.
It shows that getting over love is as significant as falling in love!
To explore more regarding college dating and ways to deal with it download Idyll: The Perfect Dating App