The Major Relationship Red Flags
Warning Signs Everyone Should Know About
We all learned basic traffic rules when we were young, let's recall what red meant- It means 'STOP', and also let's not forget red is the color of the danger signal as well. ⚠
So now do you understand what the term 'Red Flag' means?
In relationships, red flags are signs that the person probably can't have a healthy relationship, and proceeding down the road together would be emotionally dangerous. While some red flags are very clear in the beginning only, many might present more as a clue or a hint later on that there can be an underlying problem. Ultimately, red flags indicate a reason to cease or back away from a relationship.
Even with high compatibility, there can be many deal-breakers in a relationship indicating that it won't last long. Those deal-breakers can be a personality trait of the person or what they view a relationship as or many minor and major things that they strongly believe in.
Let's look into some deal-breakers that scream STOP.
Table of Contents:
Signs You Shouldn't Miss
🚩Narcissism -
Have you ever met someone who is obsessed with looking in the mirrors, constantly sending photos of themselves to a thousand people and can't stop sharing about themselves and when it comes to you, they don't pay attention at all? They are a narcissist, they are obsessed with themselves. Narcissists believe that the world revolves around them. Being emotionally involved with a narcissistic, ego-driven person can be exhausting and traumatizing. Their needs will always be considered more important than yours. At times, they might even belittle you to praise themselves and play the game of shifting the blame. They are not flags, they are a full-meter-long red carpet. Walk away immediately.
🚩Anger Issues -
If someone you are close to has anger management issues, you might feel threatened or unsafe during an argument. They might get angry at the littlest of things and it can involve a lot of shouting which is not exactly pleasant and it can even worsen to them throwing things and banging fists as well.
That is the kind of situation you don't want to be in. It is emotionally exhausting and can lead to many mental problems. It is better to not get involved with an angry bird like this. You don't have to deal with their anger at all, know your worth, and don't find a person for yourself who lashes out at you all the time and treats you like an emotional rage room.
🚩Keeping Secrets -
Keeping Secrets is kind of a broader term, it can be avoiding conversations about some people, not sharing about the people they have been within the past or even their family and friends, and not showing their phone. Being mysterious might be cool and safe from afar but it is not going to be something that works in a relationship.
Honesty and trust are the two pillars of any healthy relationship. That being said, if your partner keeps secrets from you or often beats around the bush, it may be a sign that they don’t trust you enough to share what’s really going on or they have some skeletons in their closet.
🚩History of Infidelity -
You must have hurt that people say "If they cheated on you, they are gonna cheat on the next person too". What if you are the next person? Knowing about past cheating incidents becomes a must. This is a factor related to trust, you won't trust a thief with your keys, similarly, you can't trust a heart-breaker with your heart. Even if they say "I have changed", there is no reliable proof that they regret their actions and won't dare to do it again.
🚩"I am Unfortunate"-
In your life, you might come across some people who have actually been through a lot of difficulties and series of unfortunate events and some people who are living an ordinary life with minimal difficulties that they don't create but they sure talk a lot about how life is hard and people in their lives don't help them, they continuously complain about their life and how they still live it. They are portraying to be strong, they want empathy for no reason and they are trying to trap you by making you their 'Bob the Builder'. Don't fall into that trap because they only want attention and if they can talk about people in their lives, they might talk about you the same way to others as well.
Not only are they capable of bringing a different level of toxicity they will also sabotage your positive energy, and your confidence, it is advised to maintain a healthy distance.
The Subtle Signs
Not all bad and undesirable things about a person will come with broad headlines, you need to notice details about them. From their Instagram caption to their relationship with their parents. Some people even proudly share that they are a red flag so stay away, I mean, drama much? Some people with too many friends of the opposite gender, even people with a disgustingly large snap score, are rude to employees in a shop or restaurant, replying late and then making excuses, and have a huge following of people of the opposite gender that are "just friends". Many many minimal things here and there that are constantly bugging you, signs that you ignore but shouldn't because they later do become a problem. Also what may be a red flag do you, doesn't have to be the same for everyone as people think differently and lead different lifestyles. Someone who doesn't match your beliefs or is strongly against them can be an imperfect fit for you.
How To Deal With A Red Flag?
Like I said in my previous blog, get into a relationship when you don't NEED someone, you are doing well on your own.
In the talking phase, where you are still getting to know the person in a relationship and are noticing some undesirable qualities and mismatched views, in this phase you are not attached as much as you might become in the future with that person so there is still a wider exit to leave.
Approach this situation in a certain sly manner -
Put Yourself First
You should never have to sacrifice your own needs for someone else’s. Yes, compromise is healthy. But it isn't worth it if it comes at the cost of your happiness and subjective well-being. Give importance to 'Me time' in which you do the things you love with no interference and opinions of anyone else.
This way, you know you have control over your own happiness and can take better care of yourself.
Communicate More
Widen the duration of the talking phase, have you heard the song "one step forward, three steps back" nothing to do with the song here but do pay attention to the title.
This is a simple technique to use to avoid blind eyes, you see something you don't like, double check and see what else you might not like.
Communication is the only aspect to find out more.
Set Boundaries
Don't give them what they want, some people know their flaws and instead of trying to change them, they hide them. For example - let's say a person only wants attention and after some time they intend to leave when they get bored, they talk too much about themselves for you to empathize - then don't empathize.
It's a play of words. Don't show interest.
Some people are narcissists - don't praise them, don't react to their pictures, they already have too much ego for their own good.
Taking a cautious step in a relationship will benefit in a lot of terms. You won't get attached easily and you'll when to leave.
Best of all, you don't get to cry over people who didn't deserve you in the first place and their toxicity at any level did not make you feel poorly about yourself since they never got a powerful emotional hold of you.
Find Your Green Flag!
I get how difficult and time-consuming finding a green flag can be, but calm down I'm not here to only spread awareness - I come with a bit of advice too. First of all, take baby steps and stick to cautiously entering a relationship, and second of all download 'Idyll' and find your perfect green flag in a lot less time consumption and with no difficulty.