When To Let Go of a Long-Distance Relationship?
~And to everyone who is drowning in the echoes of distant promises:
In every tale of love, there is some distance to deflect.
Once the garden of love and bliss now thrives venom.
After a time toxic winds will whisper and sow seeds of strife.
Love strays and drifts afar by the winds of uncertainty.
Scared of the lonely echoes of night you lie bare souled guarding hidden truths.
From when you decided that the stars belonged to you, to finding that distant star's light to escort you through the darkest night.
When tears stain the pages of time.
Yet hope remains…..
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I wish we would have grown together rather than apart!
"The only regret that kills me is sometimes when at night, I lay down looking at the stars, searching for your hand beside me, waiting for your late-night video call, starving to have your favorite meal together, when every conversation, even about the weather, is interesting with you. The night you told me..."
"Maybe in another universe"
I want to tell you that I want to have all that is you in this life because I know these are all promises this is all we got. I try to hold you back with every possible effort, it is as painful as being forced to let go.
Challenges Of A Long-Distance Relationship
The lack of regular physical touch, where your partner feels touch-starved. The constant need for a partner beside you to help you overcome when you are hit by your traumas. Time zone differences, reliance on technology, and communication gaps can cause or create frustration. Living in different places, around different people, can make it difficult to feel truly present in each other's day-to-day experiences. Changing priorities, and aims can play a major role in the feeling of growing apart.
Why Letting Go Is Hard
Letting go can feel like losing a piece of ourselves
When you decide to let go of uncertainty, and conflict still persevere and go back to your heart. It's naturally due to the fear of not knowing what lies on the other side. Your cognitive bias of sunk cost fallacy where you continue to invest your emotions, and feelings in it because you don't want to feel like it's wasted. The most difficult part about moving on and letting go is erasing the memories of the past. When you date someone your possessions, ambitions, and habits become one you start to reflect each other. You start to fill the voids in each other's life, in the romantic sense ''You complete each other''.
Signs It's Time To Let It Go
Letting go and moving on is never an easy decision to make but if you feel drained and you have made enough efforts, letting go is the healthier choice to make. When you are in love initially everything seems to be new. You gradually learn about the other individual who's entirely different from you but that doesn't make the red flags in him green.
What is wrong is always wrong. If after some time you don't have a plan to shorten the distance between or there is a lack of commitment that gives you constant uncertainty about the future. When your relationship feels imbalanced, Only you are constantly putting in effort, changing your lifestyle and your timelines to maintain communication and connection.
Insecurities and lack of trust, the feelings of jealousy, and possessiveness arise in a long-distance relationship or even in a short-distance love due to insecurities, which only go bigger with the distance. Your goals, values, and plans don't seem to align anymore. The biggest sign is when your relationship becomes a source of anger and not joy anymore. When your relationship feels draining emotionally and talking to your partner seems more like a burden than exciting, your spark seems to have faded.
The Art Of Letting Go
Many times you sit back and wonder “Am I Clingy”? Or Do I force people to be here? Or Do I make people uncomfortable?
Am I really that worse?
Is it Clingy of me when you try to send the last message, or when I send those long messages to a simple 'Hi'?
Moving On!
Letting go is not easy but it is catalytic to your growth. Your love and long distance Relationship which once served you don't anymore, make you realize that. Your partner who was once a part of your daily regime, your morning used to start from a morning call, breakfast was incomplete without a snapshot to the partner, nights about that desire for a hand to hold, a chest to lie down on. It's all gone now, Now it's time to focus on your healing and growth.
Don't rush into anything, give yourself time to grieve and process your emotions. Put yourself in the place of your partner, be your own lover, and prioritize your mental and physical health above everything. Engage in activities that bring joy, and talk to people who make you feel a little less alone. The support of your family and friends can help you get through this. Rediscover yourself, your passion, your ambitions. Embrace the new you, make new connections, open the door to new possibilities, and always remember “When a door closes, a window opens”.
Don't be afraid to put yourself out there again when you're ready. Giving up on that long-distance Relationship doesn't mean you were good enough, it is a testament to your strength and ability. Remember, there is that right person waiting for you. To hold you tight, support you, love you a little more than you do, love your scars. But while moving forward the only to carry along are the learnings from your long-distance Relationship, they will make you more self-aware and will help you create a stronger connection when the time is right.
Take That Difficult Decision
If you have been facing such signs, it's time to have that difficult conversation. Take time, reflect on your needs and desires, what you truly are expecting from a relationship and share. Have an open conversation with your partner and share your concerns without blaming each other. Not just share yours but listen to your partner's perspective too. If you both feel like giving it a shot again you can go for a break, trying trial separation can either bring you both together or help you realize that it's something you don't want anymore.
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