How To Give Yourself Closure?

Finding closure doesn't always come from external sources; sometimes it comes from within. We get that it is harder to give yourself closure than to beg your ex for answers, hoping that they'll somehow validate your feelings while giving you a heartfelt apology.

Let's face it, the magic apology is just a figment of your imagination, and dealing with your ex after a breakup is rarely easy. So, that external validation will rarely come, and even if it does, it oftentimes will feel hollow.

But what if there was a way to rewrite the narrative? A way to process your emotions, understand your worth, and move forward with a sense of peace, all on your own terms? Well, Idyll is here to help you with all that.

What is closure?

Closure is putting an end to something or getting the feeling of finality or a type of peace that will allow you to move forward with a lighter heart.

Closure is not about erasing the past but, but about gaining a deeper understanding and accepting it as part of your story.

Ditch The Drama: Finding Closure On Your Own Terms

When we seek resolution from others, it puts us in a less empowering position; it's like begging for something. But when we seek validation from ourselves, it puts us back in that powerful situation, because now it's not unpredictable and we are not reliant on others.

Recognizing and validating your feelings that you are worthy of attention and should have time for healing is the very first step to finding peace from within. We also become self-reliant by not seeking resolution from others, and you will feel so empowered when you do this.

It will provide you with inner peace because now there's no risk of getting disappointed by others.

Reflect On Your Feelings

Take your time darling! Look back at the situation you are in, and how much it has affected you. Ask yourself why you need the clarity in the first place. And it's okay to feel lost or overwhelmed – that's completely normal. But remember that you need to understand what's holding you back.

Accept What You Can't Change

It's important to understand and recognize, certain aspects of life that are beyond your control that you can't change. This involves:-

Try facing the reality of your situation, without denying or minimizing your circumstances.

Just lying on the bed while staring at the ceiling fan and thinking about the past, is not gonna be your salvation nor will it help provide temporary relief. This is just a self-destructive trait that will make you feel more and more depressed.

Stop thinking about "how things should have been" instead try thinking about "how things will be in the future if you keep dwelling on the past"

Acceptance does not mean that you are forgiving other's actions and now things are fine between you and them, rather it means you are accepting that you can't change them to find inner peace.

Just by accepting that you can't control or change someone else, you are free to focus on things that do matter- yourself.

By accepting what you can't change, you are paving a path to finding peace and moving forward with tranquility and positive energy.

Writing a closure letter

A letter will help you sort your feelings out. This letter will be very personal and you have to write all your thoughts in it with the recollection of your past experiences or relationship.

1. "Who should you write it for?" :- Could be for your ex or a past version of yourself or anyone appropriate.
2. Express your emotions:- We are not going to send this out so, write your heart out, curse whoever you don't like, and blame all your problems on him. Write any or everything you are feeling, big or small.
3. Don't forget the details:- Write how it ended up affecting you emotionally, mentally, and physically.
4. Closure:- It's a farewell letter, so conclude it with some final goodbyes, and liberate yourself from attachments of the past.

Burn That Letter

Now, after you have completely poured your heart out in that letter, try burning it. It will help you sever any ties with your past and help you move on. It's like a visual representation of moving forward. But then again, burning that letter is completely optional, you do what suits you best!

Releasing Resentment: The Key To Moving On

A crucial step for sure, because if you are still stuck resenting them. How can we say that you have truly moved on? To do so, you have to engrave in your mind that you can't go back and change the situation, what's done is done.

Holding onto resentment and anger often stems from a desire to control the situation or seek justice

But this is not what we are seeking, right? What's the benefit of controlling a situation or seeking justice when it's already passed? Even if in the end, you fight for these things and win they'll be hollow victories. It's a no-win situation from the start.

Trust me that we've all been there, cause clinging to resentment is very comforting and they should also feel the same pain you are feeling, right? But the truth is that resentment only hurts us in the long run.  

And I'm not asking you to forgive them, but I'm asking you to let go of the resentment cause holding onto resentment is like carrying a heavy stone with you, wherever you go. It will cloud your judgment, hinder your happiness, and keep you stuck in the past.

Closure's Gift: Embracing the New You

It isn't just about saying goodbye to the past; it's also about welcoming the person you've become

Change is inevitable, so there's bound to be something that has changed in you. You just have to accept that and be happy with the new you.

With resolution, you will also have more and more time to self-reflect. So, reflect on those experiences, no matter how painful they were, and take lessons from them.

Try reflecting on how you've changed, identify the lessons you've learned, and embrace all your newfound strength.

Celebrating progress

Celebrate your growth and how far you've come at all times because healing is a gradual process and it takes time.

The closure marks the end of a chapter and the beginning of another one.

There are bound to be many possibilities that will come your way. As of now you are no longer stuck with your past. Remember to welcome, those opportunities with open hands.

Winding up your feelings allows us to redefine our identity and how we want to be perceived from now on.

Now, create a new identity that will no longer beg for attention, and try to be someone who won't lose their shine in front of anyone.

Conclusion

Remember that closure begins from within and "When we stop seeking resolution from others, we put ourselves in a very powerful position, where no one dares to look down on us. Anyway when you close this chapter and embark on a new one, remember all that we said and we do hope you heal from whatever's hurting you.

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