How To Not Look Like A Despo?

Baitho kabhi sath mere bhi do

Baatein karo baatein karo... (Baatein karo by vayu)

Hold on, hold on!!! What if your "baatein karo"  becomes a reason for "we don't talk anymore"?

Sounds strange, right? But sometimes talking too much or spamming your partner with calls and texts can be a major turn-off. You may look like a despo or it may be titled as too clingy. Well, being clingy is not a red flag, but for some people, it can be a major turn-off.

In the world of dating, making meaningful and lasting connections feels so tough and challenging, right? Desperation can take many different forms, such as being too needy or making excessive attempts to impress. In terms of relationships and dating, coming across as desperate can be a major turn-off.

“Haule Haule ho jayega pyar chaleya, Haule haule ho jayaga pyar."

Have some patience, my friend. Finding the right balance between displaying interest and upholding your dignity is crucial. Here’s a little dating advice that you can probably use for your next date😉

Do's

Be Yourself:

Originality is the key🔑

Trying too hard to be someone you are not just to impress your date or your partner will probably rebound, and at the end, you will not be able to recognize yourself in the mirror. Embrace your true self and let your natural personality shine through. Being honest about your personality will always help you in making genuine and healthy connections for life. Dating is all about being honest with your partner, and in particular, being honest with yourself. Originality is the key to a healthy, loving, and long-lasting relationship.

Respect Boundaries:

Respect is important in any relationship💓

Notice your partner’s body language and verbal prompts to make sure you are not trespassing on any boundaries. Discuss the boundaries with your partner at the initial stage of the relationship for better understanding. Give each other personal space, respect their personal space, and refrain from being too needy and clingy. For a healthy and long lasting relationship, personal space for each individual is very necessary. There's a very thin line between being protective and being possessive.

Avoid Too Much Communication:

While it’s important to communicate with your partner in a relationship, an excess of anything is hazardous (even if it’s communication). Spamming your date or partner with endless texts and calls can go a little overboard. Okay, I know that “Prem ki naiyya hai Ram ke bharose”, but you have to respect your partner’s solitary time and give them a chance to miss you too. Spam them with memes; it will surely make them laugh, but hold on; don't go overboard.

Don't Rush Things:

It’s your relationship, not Maggie 🍜

Although, even Maggie cannot be prepared in 2 minutes but putting up a consequential relationship takes a lot of time, tolerance, and effort. Nurture your relationship at your own pace, and don’t get influenced by the people around you. “Slow love is the stylish form of love," so avoid rushing into things too rapidly. Whether it’s moving too fast physically or talking about future plans, both of these can seem a little desperate. Dating is supposed to be fun; keep it slow and steady and enjoy every little moment of it.

Show Genuine Interest:

Being a good listener is always a win🏆

It’s like pulling an ace card. Everyone wants someone who can listen to them without interrupting them. Pay attention to what your partner is mentioning, whether it’s about their hobbies, careers, future plans, or even if it’s about the most silly thing. Listen to them, and make them feel wanted. Ask them as many questions as you can in the initial stage of dating without sounding like a sociopath. Show curiosity about their interests; maybe you can unlock the door to their heart by listening to them with patience.

Don’ts:

Don’t Be Too Available:

Well, it’s important to show genuine interest in your partner. It’s also important to make sure that you don’t look too available. At least in the initial stage of your relationship, when you both are still figuring it all out, it’s really important to avoid being too available. There might be a chance that your partner may not take your availability seriously and make fun of it (red flag detected!🚩)

Maintain your personal space and give time to your interests and hobbies. This shows that your life does not only revolve around your partner, and you do have a life outside, “Khudi se maine ishq kiya re." Self love above everything❤️‍🩹.

Avoid Ignoring Red Flags:

"Ye laal ishq, ye malaal ishq, ye aib ishq, ye bair ishq"…

Wait a second, laal ishq doesn’t mean that you have to go for red flags or ignore the existing red flags in your partner. Red flags, green flags, beige flags, Gen-Z, and their dating terms! But, red flags are just some little hints that maybe the person you are dating can be toxic. It’s crucial to recognize any red flags or warning signs in a relationship in the initial stages. If you neglect these indications, then there are chances that your relationship can become a toxic relationship and that’s not the plant we sowed the seeds for. For a healthy and long-lasting relationship, it is really necessary to trust your intuition and if you want, you can even work on those red flags with your partner with better understanding and communication.

Avoid Over-The-Top Gestures:

Small gestures mean a lot, whether it’s a guy or a girl. Remembering small little things about them, like what their favorite flower is, how they like their coffee, and many more, but going overboard with the gestures can come across as being desperate and artificial. Do the efforts make a person happy, or is it the thought behind those efforts? Well, I guess it’s the thought behind those small gestures that is what makes a person feel happy, loved, and wanted.

“Oh, you remember that I like iced coffee with extra ice?"

“You said that you love watching the sky, so here’s a picture of the sky; it made me think of you."

I mean, how unfiltered yet so impressive these little things are. There is no comparison between expensive gifts and these small gestures. The focal point should be on thoughtful, genuine gestures rather than buying an overly expensive gift item.

Don’t Act Needy:

Acting needy turns people away rather than drawing them in. Refrain from searching for validation, assurance, and attention from the other person all the time. Keep up your friendships, hobbies, and independence outside of the relationship. Depending on your partner for almost everything can be a little desperate and needy behavior. Enjoy your own company as much as you enjoy your partner’s company. A good and healthy relationship is the one in which both the partners have an independent life. Your partner is a part of your life- a major part of your life, not your whole life.

Conclusion:

A healthy relationship is one that is respected equally by both partners, and both partners have an equal share in the relationship. A relationship where both partners have their own individuality and viewpoints is an ideal type of relationship. It is very important for both partners to live an independent life without being dependent on each other, even for the little things.
Don’t let your relationship consume you or your partner.

Your relationship should sound like Prateek Kuhad's songs.

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